On getting stuck in emotional ruts

I am a theater major at the University of North Dakota and I am currently enrolled in my third semester of acting classes.

Today happened to be the day that I came across the biggest breakthrough I've had yet. I actually felt the scene. The best part was that it was a "contentless scene" which means (if you don't know) I am handed a bit of pointless dialogue that makes little to no sense with out some given circumstances. So my acting teacher gives us the circumstances.

Person A is the parent
Person B is the child

The Child is in prison, on death row and will be executed at midnight that night.
The Parent is visiting for the last time.

My partner (a male) and I rehearsed the words until we had them essentially memorized and then were given the circumstances from which to perform the scene. I was the child, he the parent.

Sitting there waiting for him to enter the scene I was starting to feel nervous and could feel my heart beating faster and my nerves start to go crazy. Before I even went up to the stage I could feel myself wanting to cry. I felt this way because I was envisioning this conversation as if it were actually occurring with my father. My partner was doing something similar. Because of this I started to shut down, which is something I tend to do because I have done it throughout my entire life when faced with a difficult situation. My teacher said something about it to me, and I tried to stop. I don't know if I succeeded, but when we finished the scene and walked away I couldn't help but start to cry. I felt as though my father had actually just walked away from me right before I was about to die.

Some would say this is succeeding in the art of acting. I feel like I messed it up somewhere because I couldn't get out of the feeling. I left class still crying and had to drive around town before I could calm myself down enough to go home.

I don't think I'm supposed to get stuck in an emotion. I should be able to feel them, but not keep them past what I need them for. Yes, I felt like I had acheived the scene's purpose and gotten something out of it, which is much more that I have done before, but then I couldn't leave that place. It wasn't a new situation that was created, it was a situation that had spawned from something that had already happened. If I recall correctly, this is what eventually led to Lee Strasberg's methods and, consequently, a lot of emotional scarring for more than one actor.

That being said, I want to explore the ability to do that and see what happens...it was kind of crazy, but really really intriguing all at the same time.

Sing. Act. Live
Emily Elisabeth