Acting 272 Epiphanies

It's been awhile. That's because I'm busy and by the time I get home at night, I'm exhausted. Also, partly because I haven't had many revelations or needs to update.

Today is a little different. I'm sitting backstage being a dresser for my school's production of "Parallel Lives" by Mo Gaffney and Kathy Najimy. I really don't do much, so I have a lot of time to kill.

I thought i would take this time to reflect on my current situation in my acting class.
I am in two scenes. They are both taken from "The Heidi Chronicles." If you haven't read/heard about this play, I'll sum it up in a brief statement.

It chronicles the life of a woman named Heidi Holland. Her best friend's name is Peter and the only man she ever, really loved, is named Scoop. Scoop doesn't think he can have an amazing wife and an amazing life and so marries a woman who is nothing like Heidi, and is in all reality, rather boring. Heidi has a difficult time accept that Peter is gay, but loves him dearly anyway. As the play progresses, Heidi gets older and makes many life choices.

Now, the two scenes I am in are: Peter and Heidi when Peter confronts Heidi about her inablity to accept that he is gay, and Scoop and Heidi at Scoop's wedding.

I find that in the first scene, it is much harder to connect to the character of Heidi. I don't know if this is because of the dialogue, my partner, or my inability to understand why she doesn't like that Peter is gay. I have a speculation that Heidi loves Peter so much, she is afraid she will lose him if she accepts that he likes men. I cannot find the motivation for this scene.

The second scene however, is COMPLETELY different. It is so moving and juicy that I love rehearsing it and just letting it take over my body and mind. It's amazing that my partner and I can create such a truthful relationship on stage. I don't even think like Emily. I think like Heidi. I react to Scoop. I love Scoop and I'm terribly hurt that he would marry someone boring just because he thinks he can't have an exciting woman and lover her too. It hurts Heidi and the climax of the scene happens after Heidi accuses him of this. Heart-breaking silence. Utterly moving. You can feel the tension and the pain in her voice. His next line is "I never meant to hurt you." She can't take it and shuts him out and makes up some excuse to leave and go back to the wedding.

What I can't quite come to terms with is the ability to feel so much in one scene and feel absolutely nothing in the other. I know I need to feel uncomfortable in the scene with Peter. I wonder if a different sort of preparation would change anything. I suppose a preparation of any kind would be good though. Peter doesn't seem to mean as much to me as Scoop, even though I know they weigh equally in my world. They are the only two men I have ever loved.

Any insights on character or scene prep would be welcome. That is, if anyone reads this. Again, just a way for me write out what I'm thinking about.

I'll keep pondering my dillemma about Heidi Holland. In the mean time, I gotta get started on Mariane from Tartuffe.

Emily Elisabeth - theater master mind that hasn't been found yet

From one acting technique to...the same acting technique

My acting classes are getting redundant. We focus on nothing but Sanford Meisner's way of teaching.

Now, I'll give him this: it is effective. HOWEVER: it is also not the only technique out there. I want to learn a different technique to acheiving what I'm looking to feel. I want to know that this is not the only method to getting to that emotional gold spot. It does work, yes, but it's really difficult to come out of (for me personally).

I guess I understand that I should at least try to master the technique, but wouldn't it also be effective to attempt different techniques to find the one that fits me the best? I suppose I really don't know. In any event, I hadn't posted for a few days and I'm just trying to procrastinate the inevitable: homework.

What is it you may ask? Read chapters 3 through 10 in Uta Hagen's Respect for Acting, and memorize a two minute scene...all by tomorrow. I have other things that arent' releated to acting as well, but I don't really have to do those until Monday.

*sigh* I suppose I should get to work on filling my brain with potentially irrelevant things...

Happy first day of the awkward month!
Emily Elisabeth