On getting stuck in emotional ruts

I am a theater major at the University of North Dakota and I am currently enrolled in my third semester of acting classes.

Today happened to be the day that I came across the biggest breakthrough I've had yet. I actually felt the scene. The best part was that it was a "contentless scene" which means (if you don't know) I am handed a bit of pointless dialogue that makes little to no sense with out some given circumstances. So my acting teacher gives us the circumstances.

Person A is the parent
Person B is the child

The Child is in prison, on death row and will be executed at midnight that night.
The Parent is visiting for the last time.

My partner (a male) and I rehearsed the words until we had them essentially memorized and then were given the circumstances from which to perform the scene. I was the child, he the parent.

Sitting there waiting for him to enter the scene I was starting to feel nervous and could feel my heart beating faster and my nerves start to go crazy. Before I even went up to the stage I could feel myself wanting to cry. I felt this way because I was envisioning this conversation as if it were actually occurring with my father. My partner was doing something similar. Because of this I started to shut down, which is something I tend to do because I have done it throughout my entire life when faced with a difficult situation. My teacher said something about it to me, and I tried to stop. I don't know if I succeeded, but when we finished the scene and walked away I couldn't help but start to cry. I felt as though my father had actually just walked away from me right before I was about to die.

Some would say this is succeeding in the art of acting. I feel like I messed it up somewhere because I couldn't get out of the feeling. I left class still crying and had to drive around town before I could calm myself down enough to go home.

I don't think I'm supposed to get stuck in an emotion. I should be able to feel them, but not keep them past what I need them for. Yes, I felt like I had acheived the scene's purpose and gotten something out of it, which is much more that I have done before, but then I couldn't leave that place. It wasn't a new situation that was created, it was a situation that had spawned from something that had already happened. If I recall correctly, this is what eventually led to Lee Strasberg's methods and, consequently, a lot of emotional scarring for more than one actor.

That being said, I want to explore the ability to do that and see what happens...it was kind of crazy, but really really intriguing all at the same time.

Sing. Act. Live
Emily Elisabeth

Reflections on "The Dark Knight"

In light of my continuing education in both theater, music, performance and the continued discoveries about myself, I feel like taking a moment to reflect on my feelings about the recently released film on DVD, The Dark Knight.

Something about this film, which I just finished watching no more than ten minutes ago, makes me feel better about my choice of majors at school. It made me realize why I chose to do what I have chosen to do with my life.

I don't mean to make a big deal out of the movie, but it was fabulous. And not just because Heath Ledger was in it, and then died. I actually am rather frusterated that the rest of the fantastic talents in the movie are not recognized as much as I feel they should be, and would be had Ledger not tragically passed away.

For instance, in my opinion any movie with Morgan Freeman in it is INSTANTLY made better, just by his very presence. Add on top of that a wonderful performance, and life basically can't get better.

Christian Bale, whom we all know can sing (thanks to his early role in the Disney musical Newsies) once again performs brilliantly as Batman. I'm glad they used him in the first movie, and although he has some habits that I'm not especially fond of, his talent far outweighs my dislike of these minor character choices.

Gary Oldman. I can not say enough about this man as he portrays Jim Gordon. HOLY CRAP. It is absolutely fantastic. I watch him and there is this sense of raw emotion and real-ness that can't be described any other way (clearly evident by my lack of a real word...). His final line in the movie is extremely powerful, albeit slightly cheesy, and it gives this HUGE moment as Batman rides away from the danger on his crazy motor-bike and Gordon explains to his son that, yes, even though Batman didn't do anything wrong, he has to run because humanity just doesn't understand it. Just thinking about it makes me feel like running to do something drastic, to try and prove him wrong or something similar.

Maggie Gyllenhaal's pick up of Katie Holmes Rachel Dawes is fanTAStic. Sorry if that's a dis to Katie, but I prefer Maggie's up front attitude with Bruce and her reluctance to loving Harvey Dent until her life is on the line. It takes a really talented person to have the on-screen chemistry shine through with her partner when he isn't even on screen with her. I also feel like one of my best friends significantly resembles Maggie Gyllenhaal, so it is quite possible that I am biased.

Aaron Eckhart has a great 180 in the show after losing the love of his life. I can't even imagine what that has to feel like, and how to portray that. I am constantly striving for a new way to portray emotion on stage, and I'll take whatever technique will work. There is a scene in the movie in which Rachel and Harvey are talking to each other and you can hear the panic in each of their voices. When coupled with the attempt, by each of them, to calm each other down, it creates a beautifully tense moment before one of them is about to die. Harvey loses it when he realizes they chose the wrong person. There is a cut to Rachel's face, which is instantly flooded with emotion and...well, you know the rest I suppose. I can't even begin to imagine how that was worked out in their minds. Feeling that emotion as an act is SO difficult. I don't know how to describe it.

Finally, Heath Ledger. Yes. He was absolutely fantastic. I completely agree and after watching this movie for a third time, it makes me even more aggravated that this is the last performace I have to remember him by. His character choices can not be emulated. He enveloped the life of the Joker and portrayed it so well that I forgot who he was. THAT is acting at it's finest. When I forget who you actually are and become so involved with your character that I feel what you feel or feel what you want me too because you are that convincing.

Watching this movie again restored my love of the art of acting and while I would prefer to be a stage actress, film is just as challenging and I can not help but appreciate it for all it is worth.

Sing. Act. Live.
Emily Elisabeth